jia ying

MY SUPER LAME FRIENDS

2010-10-04T03:29:00.000-07:00

THIS POST SPECIALLY GOES OUT TO DAWN KWA LI PING AND DOMINIQUE LEE YAN.
FOUND MY BLOG ALREADY LAH!
HAPPY ALREADY HUH!
WA LAO
LAME SI LE NI MEN.
-.- I BET YOU GUYS HAD FUN READING.

2010-07-25T02:41:00.000-07:00

not sure is this blog is dormant or not... ...
sigh.
lots of things has happened for these past few months
chinese o levels is officially over... ... for the time being
i need to get that A1! i dont want to re take. i've studied so hard for this exam, i certainly do not DO NOT WANT TO RETAKE IT AGAIN and go through all that trouble.
im doing phy now.
my sad life.
i want A REAL LIFE AFTER Os.

2010-04-24T01:34:00.000-07:00

sigh, chinese oral was a disaster. i studied for it. studied so hard for it. in the end i screwed it up so badly. i messed it up. :( oh well, life is just that sucky ojy you just have to live with it.

im not sure if i really like gg. :( i dont want to like gg, i dont want to fall in <3 again, like what i did to 29. i dont want history to repeat itself. :(

2010-04-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

slept at 1 am in the morning yesterday because i was trying to figure out my a amath and prepre for the a math test (which was today), hoping that i am able to just pass. however, after the test today, my hopes od just passing was dashed, blame it all on my irrespnsible actions - sleeping during a math lesson, not handing up a single homework. the math teacher had to call my parents leh! stupid.

but, i did not fall asleep during any lessons today. i was befuddled. i was shocked at my ability. LOL. i guess i shall sleep at 1 am today again and see if i am able to withstand this tiredness (i dont even have now man)

2010-04-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

IM BEING ABUSED BY MY MOTHER. AND I AM NOT KIDDING. she keeps beating me, kicking me and pinching me until my arms turned blue and black. all beacuse of what? ALL BECAUSE I KEPT FAILING MY MATH AND I DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT. hey, come one, do you love to beat me so much? may be i shall kill myself, commit suicide to end this suffering.

2010-04-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

for no reason, i began to listen to the song titled "world on fire" and started to think of KC.
i knew i shouldnt have listened to the song.
damn you jia ying
cant you just not give in to temptation for once?!

2010-04-10T04:47:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i feel so stupid when i do things withouth thinking about its consequences. :(

2010-04-09T05:50:00.000-07:00

it surprises me how fast time flies.
if i could,
i would have stopped the time when i was still a pri 1 kid
living in my own innocent world
untroubles by the insurmountable problems iam facing right now.

2010-04-08T04:19:00.000-07:00

it is 7 2o right now. might spare a few minutes to type sth here.
today' bio, phy, eng and chi lessons are super duper productive. i have learned that if i were to have a postive attitude towards the teachers and lessons, i wont fall asleep so easily. :)
anyway, yesterday was the speech day rehearsal.
i noticed something about Mr Chng that might have changed my view of him after all. during the chinese and modern dance performance, one of the girl within a silver tubing nearly tripped and fell due to a crevice on the hall's floor. i noticed that. my heart was so nervoue for the girl. i hope she was alright. the others behind were too busy chidishly laughing at her plight - which i find super mean and reflects their lack of care. right after the performance, Mr Chng went up the stage to tape down the crevice, maing sure that no one else that walk past that area will trip and fall again. maybe he is not as bad as i think he is? may be he cares, but he does not show it? may be he want to joke with us but does not know how? maybe... ... but there are too much maybe-s to my liking.
he is a teacher.
just like the others.
i must learn to accept and appreciate them while i can
and not judge them by their appearance.
however, his actions during the sports carnival tells me otherwise... ....

2010-04-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

the sky looks scary.
its angry dark blue in colour.
looks like it is going to erupt soon.
i can hear a rumble in the distance, indicating a to-be-downpour... ....
... ... ... or am i imagining things... .... ... ?

2010-04-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

i dont know why, but there is a feeling of emptiness within me... ...
i am unsure of what i am living for
i am unsure of why i am living
i am unsure of who i am living for
i am unsure when i am going to leave.... ....
im befuddled.

2010-04-02T06:42:00.001-07:00

haha, nai-da is so cute and funny. :)
my good friend for 3 years and 3 mths. let it last.

2010-04-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

i am SO VERY SICK AND TIRED of changing.
i know that i am supossed to do lots and lots of maths to buck myself up, to do better in math, but whenever i open up the assesment books, i slam them right back. numbers messes up my life. i have enough problems myself that i cant eve solve, and you expect me to solve math questions that does not even apply to the real world? you are kidding me.
i'd rather study and learn something that i can apply to this world. but then again, the world is cruel, cold, harsh and uncaring.
the education system in singapore is a total FAIL. it does not even prepare the students for the real world. all they do is to bombard the students with tests inexorably, forcing math equations, chem equations, and bio "vocab" like neurotransmitters. WHAT THE HELL? stop forcing us to memorise stuffs that we dont want to memorise.
i have an ambition, i have a dream in life - to become a fashion designer, architect or internal designer. this educations sytem is literally eating away the rest of the energy i have left in pursuing my goals.
I AM DIFFERENT FROM OTHER STUDENTS. i know what i want, and i want it now. the only thing that is blocking my way is this FUCKING educations system. my parents feel that being a fashion designer, architect, internal designer is a waste of time. they object. they FAN3 DUI4. they do not support me. instead they criticised me. stupid educations system, it seems that everyone wants face. and in order for them to have face, they have to get a decent job. you know what is the definition of a decent job for my parents? DOCTOR, LAWYER, LECTURER.
come one, stop kidding me. i do not have the brains to become that. please, you have to accept thr fact that your daughter dislikes some subjects she is struggling to ace in, she is not intelligent enough, not up to yoru expectations, whatever you name it. PLEASE OPEN YOU EYES BIG BIG AND SEEE. WHY CANT YOU GUYS JUST SEE AND ACCEPT IT? is it that hard?

life stinks so bad.

2010-03-31T22:30:00.000-07:00

there are no official lessons today. :)
its sports carnival day! :)
woohoooo! sadly to say, my house was the 5th in position. BUT I AM STILL HAPPY! AT LEAST WE PUT IN THE EFFORT! :)
i helped the house ti win 1 pt!
haha, its a little, but at least i did something for the house throughout my entire 4 years in crescent.
its was some sort of frisbi throw, you have to throw the frisbit throught the hulahoop. i did it man!
at first i didnt dare throw because i felt that i did not have a firm grip on the frisbi. to add to my "burden" livia started to use my back as a table and placed a paper on my back to write. ALSO, a teacher was rushing me to throw it because there is a long queue behind. STRESSED.
but in the end i did it. when i threw, the frisbi flew, i thought it would fly past the hulahoop, but suprisingly, at the end, it swooped down and passed through the hulahoop. I WAS SHOCKED. but elated at the same time.
didnt expect myself to win. :)
haha.

i want to congratulate mr tan, miss poh, miss loo and miss sim for winning the staff race for our house. TYTYTYTYTYTY. there is especially one other teacher that also participated and helped us to win, but i do not wish to type the teacher's name here. the teacher was not supportive at all. it was as if he/she was running for the sake of running. right after the race, he/she completely disappeared while the 4 teachers mentioned above came to the front of our house and cheered with us and screamed with us and supported us all the way. the one that was not mentioned, needless to say, was spotted right at the faaaaaaaaaar left corner fo the stadium chatting with a corpulent (if i am mean right now, i would have said OBESE) ang mo woman. he/ she was slacking his/her ass off. i mean, come on, your house, at least go there and support?

therefore, for the rest of the day, with every passing second, my hate for him/her grew slowly, but surely. IGNORANT LITTLE TWERP.

i saw gee gee running and i was giggling like a mad child. gee gee ran to fast man. within a minute, gee gee surpassed the first runner by an OBVIOUS GAP. i have a thing for fast male runners. :)

but a gee gee crush is just too wrong. i cannot afford to like another man who is so much older than me. i am sure that i would want to hang out with a guy who is around my age. i know this may make me sound fickle-minded, but i am. i am fickle-minded. i can like a person madly for 5 min, and the next, i can hate the person so much that i could strangle them with my bare hands. well, i change fast. but this time round, i believe tht when i change, i would really change and not like them again.

it was fun, most of the time today, with dominique, nivedha, janice, yi tong, my S2 07/08 classmates! :) <3 you guys so much.

2010-03-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

i was flipping through the school yearbook a few moments ago.
the first page i flipped to, unfortunately, was the page about the Crescent Grad night and about Miss Crescentian.
stared, long and hard at the picture of Miss Crescentian and thought to myself - "her make up is obviously too thick, applied too much. i cant stand it."
i cant help but wonder who voted for her.
but i felt jealous too.
i mean, who doesnt want to get that title "Miss Crescentian" ? its the dream of every girl's.
however, after thinking more deeply, i figured out that winning the "Miss Crescentian" title does not matter to me.
i wont even get that tile anyway.
i am contented with enjoying myself that day, spending treasured times with my best buddies and favourite teachers.
of course i have to prettify myself. i shall not apply too much make up. i want to look natural, i dont want to look fake and thick. being myself is all that matters. BEING WHO I AM IS WHAT TRULY MATTERS ON THAT DAY.
i dont care if i managed to get the chance to dance with KC (OMG!), at least i got to enjoy myself temendously.
i mean, who could guarantee that the person would win the best dressed award again?
i doubt so.
i hope someone else win
but then again, KC seems to be the one with a "diverse species" of clothes.
but i have a feeling KC might not even turn up for this event.
who am i trying to kid?!
just try to be yourself jia ying.
it is all that matters.
a tinge of jeaousy is okay, we are human, but dont let this jealousy grow within you.
jia ying, move on with life. :)
there are much more better things in this world you can do than to get over obsessed with people whom you do not even know.
:)
ONLY MYSELF.
i believe only in myself.

2010-03-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

i feel like a confused little child.
a moment i am feeling like i am the most carefree girl on earth and the next, i feel like i am the most undignified girl to have ever stepped foot on ground.
i wonder if it is so hard for me to just sit down, open the textbook and read it, CAREFULLY.
i guess its tough for me.
i feel like i cant even do something so easy like
lifting the first page of the textbook.
: (
LIFE REALLY STINKS.
but i believe i will get over it.
im hoping against hope.

2010-03-28T03:30:00.001-07:00

i inadvertently spilt my mother's cup of coffee on the floor.
i smiled.
a feeling of satisfaction grew slowly, but surely within me. why? because i knew i would not be the one cleaning up the mess. the maid would. that was why i could not help but smile to myself.
however, now, as i sat on my chair, i begin to wonder if my action was some form of abuse?

i cant seem to get this person's name off my head.
i cannot afford to like another 35 year old uncle.
nai-da said its is okay, at least the person is a hot uncle.
i was speechless. i dont trust myself enough to answer her.

2010-03-27T04:44:00.000-07:00

hearts have worn in these dark ages
youre not alone in this story's pages
night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
and i try to hold it in
yeah i try to hold it in

the world's on fire and
its's more than i can hndle
i'll tap into the water
i try to pull my ship
i try to bring more
more than i can handle
bring it to the table
bring what i am able

i watch the heavens and i find a calling
something i can do to change this moment
stay close to me while the sky is falling
don't wanna be left alone
don't wanna be alone

hearts break, hearts mend
love still hurts
vision clash
planes crash
still here's talk of
saving souls, still on the cold
is closing in on us

we part the veil on our kiler sun
stray from the straight line on this short run
the more we take, the less we become
a fortune of one that means less for some

thanks to Mr Chng, who introduced this song to G1. i immediately fell in love with it. :)

2010-03-25T04:07:00.000-07:00

i am really confused right now.
when i talk to my "BUTTS", i am able to complain, to rant about my unhappiness to them about someone i really despise. but, why do i shut myslef out when i face the person i loathe? am i a hypocrite or what? i fell like i am stabbing the person behind her back. the feeling is horrible. i dont know what to do. whenever i told myself "okay, jia ying, you can do this, just ignore the girl and get on with life!", it doesnt really seem to work. on the outside, i would treat the girl as if she deserves my respect, but deep down, i REALLY REALLY cannot stand her. :(

another thing, i think i am deprived of guys. REALLY. i am not kidding. i feel that this is the main reason behind why i am having such immature crushes right now. i can like this particular person for a day and hate him the next. i kept changing. changing it good, it is essential, but not this type of random changing. i need to get a life.

2010-03-21T02:54:00.000-07:00

I HAVE NO LIFE.

2010-03-20T04:07:00.000-07:00

i've got it all, but i feel so deprived
i go up, i come down and im emptier inside
tell me what is this thing that i feel like im missing
and why cant i let it go?

theres got to be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
cause the more that im
tripping out thinking there must be more to life
well, its life, but im sure, therea got to be more
than wanting mroe

ive got the time and im wasting it slowly
here in this moment im halfway out the door
onto the next thing, im searching for something thats missing

im wanting more
im always waiting on something other than this
why am i feeling like there is something i missed?

2010-03-19T08:11:00.001-07:00

what's this feeling going through me now? jealousy? anger? unfairness?
i just went to stalk people on facebook, especially pri sch friend's account. i came across this particular guy's account. i know that he likes me when i was in primary four, but didnt dare say it to me. he kept looking at me and whatever. i hated him to the core then. but why, why did have have this tugging feeling when i found out that he has a girlfriend? i should have no feelings about that. i should laugh at his girlfriend and him. but what i felt (and i am going to comfirm), was pure jealousy. DEEP, BOUNDLESS AND PURE JEALOUSY.

why? why? why? why? why jealousy?

maybe, maybe it hurts to know that you have been liked before, but never told before and right after that, the perso totally forgets about you. dunked you away as if you are a piece of insignificant shit. it hurts now, even though i used to hate him to much, so fuck-much-ing.

the girl is not something which you would look at when she walks down the street. simply put it, she is plain, from top to bottom. she tries her best to put on make up bla bla, but it doesnt work. im not sure if she is a malay or not, but she sure looks like one. she and the guy have kissed before, and i saw a picture of it. i cant help but choke on my water. oh the horror.

but another thing, the guy is not that great either.

AH! who cares. people come and go. people you once remember, you will forget. people you once come into contact with, will disappear from your memory. this is life ong jia ying. stop sitcking on to your past. there has got to be more to life that sticking around, doing nothing and poking our nose into other people's busisness.

you are too young to have to boyfriend! stop fantasizing! you have to wait. patience is virtue. remember what you goal in life is - be the greatest architechure/ fashion designer/ accountant or whatever that allows me to be able to be independent. you certainly do not want a bf to suddenly "POP" into your life, ruin your whole life, making you fall into the abyss of hopeless romantic darkness and strip you off of your independece. NO JIA YING, YOU DO NOT WANT THAT. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SURIVING ON YOURSELF. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SURVIVING OUT HERE ON YOUR OWN. YOU ARE CAPABLE TO... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

*curses to all those who have made me jealous*

2010-03-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

today, i have learned that in order to survive in this cruel world, i have to stick to myself. i cant just follow what most people are doing.

right now, i am so sick and tired of always coming online and waiting for something to happen. i am sick of being the one that is always waiting. doesnt the other know that there is someone else waiting for them? does it feel good to be waited for? fine. i have learned it a hard way - i am who i am, i shall log on and log off whenever i want to. no

2010-03-15T01:53:00.000-07:00

I LOVE CHEM. I LOVE CHEM. I LOVE CHEM! ELECTROLYSIS IS SO INTERESTING! ONCE YOU GET IT.

2010-03-12T06:36:00.000-08:00

i cant explain this fucking mood swings i am experiencing now.
for a moment i was fucking happy and the next i was fucking depressed. what is wrong with me?!

2010-03-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

i think i have finally gotten over 29. HAHA! IT TOOK ME ABOUT 4 YEARS TO GET OVER HIM.

but now, another problem is arising. i think i am beginnig to like another guy. i just can't seem to get him off my head. even though i knew he has an attitude problem, he changes mood almost immediately, he is not as hilarious as Gary (OMG! GARY!!!! DX ), i feel that i am beginnig to fall for him. i know that he is not the right guy for me, but my premonition tells me that i am beginning to fall madly in love once again.

STOP IT OJY. YOU HAVE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THE MAN. YOU HAVE TO!

i feel that the main reason why i am beginning to like him is because he has a HOT BOD. omg. MY HORMONES ARE RAGING. i have to stop this kind of mentality. i have to stop liking guys because they tone their muscles or whatever. i have to like a guy whom i am comfortable with. i dont want to end up dumpoin every single guy i date in the end. OMG. *SOBS*

i kept telling my butts that the guy has mood swings, i kept telling them i dislike him and i hate him to the core, but whenever i said it, i dont feel that i mean it.

FROM NOW ON, I SHOULD TRY TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM LOOKING AT THAT GUYS; HOT BOD. I SHOULD IGNORE THAT GUY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

2010-03-06T02:42:00.000-08:00

this programme called "I am gifted - so are you" programme finally ended yesterday night at 10 15 pm, leaving behind few dry eyes, not including me.

i feel that this programme has affected and motiveated me positively a lot.

i cried like what? 4 times during the programme because they were talking about parents. and at that exact period, i was treating my mommy and daddy as if they were nothing. i felt that they were irritating and they dont love me at all. well... .... this programme changed that. i cried because i screamed at my mother to go away, i cried because i did not bade them goodbye while i left the car to school in the morning, i cried because i recalled the sms-es that my mother sent me every single morning without fail reminding me to drink more water and eat more in school so that i wont fall sick, i cried because i felt so low and undignified that i deleted all her sms-es because it took up most of the space in my hp... ... OH MY, EVERYTHING JUST FLOW OUT DURING THE LAST 2 DAYS OF THE CAMP. COOL~ IVE CRIED LIKE MORE THAN 8 TIMES WITHIN 3 MONTHS.

2010-02-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

i feel so much like a glutton now.

i ate 2 eggs in the morning. when i was half way drinking my milo ice, i ran to the refrigerator, took a magnum ice cream and dunked it into the milo. i ate and drank the whole thing. after which, i went to the refrigerator, again, to eat a bar of chocolate. just now, i ate a whole bowl of kay teow and half of a mai kai. OMG. GUILTY PLEASURE.

2010-02-26T00:40:00.000-08:00

somewhere, i know that deep down in my heart, i want somethings in my life to be fixed. i do not want these things to be changed. i am sick and tired of my mother changing some things not to my consent. i really really dislike it. when she changes it, she would chatise me for being irresponsible and stupid. come on, i mean, i am okay with it, you are the one who is trying to change things, you should blame yourself, not me, i am really sick and tired of my life. if i am being antagonized any further, i might explode.

whenever you start one of your "clever talks" in the car, you didn't realise that i am blasting my music, drowning out your irritating voice. you didn't know that i am agitated by your voice. you didn't realise that you are biased towards my sister and against me. you didn't know that you don't make a good mother. you didn't know that your food stinks. you thought you know everything about me - but no, you dont, there are somethings that you do not know about and will never ever know about.

sometimes, i wish you were dead.

2010-02-20T22:37:00.000-08:00

i tried to do my a math weekend homework just now. it didnt turn out as great as i thought it would be. i cried and tore up my paper in anger. i just cannot figure out why i even bother to do all the a math practices seriously when in the end, i would just fail my a math test. i hate a math,i dont understand why i even bother. i dont know why i even try when i know what would happen in the end or what the results would be. i feel like the whole world is against me now. this feeling stinks. i feel like i am such a lowly human being, unworthy of praise and unworthy of even existing on earth. i feel like shit now.
i dont know what i should do now. i cant even study, but i can only draw. i want to go to art school but i feel like my parents violently object to that. they just want me to go to a JC and i belive what i could not even enter one. i do not have the brains to get in anyway. i am not smart.

LIFE STINKS. I FEEL SO BAD NOW. I WANT TO DIE.

2010-02-17T03:15:00.000-08:00

i dont know about you guys, but i dont believe i got an A2 for my english common test. at first i only got 17/25 then i was like, oh okay, its not as bad as i expected it to be. but then after going through the voacbulary questions, i realised that my english teacher marked one of my answers wrongly and i went forward gleefully to get may 1 mark. then i got 18/25, which is an A2. i think i got lucky this time because i got full marks for the vocabulary questions. which means that i ahve secured 1/5 marks of the whole paper. i hope that i would not be too complacent with my results now and then "de-prove" for my later english exams. last year i also got the highest in class for english common test which is also 18/25 but rightafter that i failed or just barely passed the rest of the english tests. i hope that this would not be vicious cycle. i reallly want to do well in english.

oh, and today we had E geog as first lesson. as usual, our teacher came in without a smile on his face - just expressionless. the lesson went on and on and on. i didnt dare look at him because of a dream. i will get all red in the face and OH THE HORROR, i dont want to talk about it. just have to know that e geog lesson is a lesson where the teacher shoots the bullets at you and you try to catch the bullets with you bare hands.

ss was so fun. especially mr poon and mdm ting. i can still remember vividly the first time i had my sec 4 ss lesson. the mood was KILLER MAN. no one dared to talkand even i dont even dare to open my mouth, let alone breathe. but now, all that has changed. ss lesson is so dynamic. even though we got back out ss class test and i did not fare as badly as i expect myself to. 13/25. just scraped the failure borderline by a miserable 0.5 marks. i remember before handing up the ss script, i drew a sad face right beside the ss title. ha-ha. guess what mr poon did? he canceled off the sad face and re-drew A SMILEY FACE. omg, i saw it and i was like OMG SO CUTE mr poon is so funny. made my day. unlike the stupid e geog lesson. :)

school today was fun.

2010-02-15T07:54:00.001-08:00

HAHA. i woke up this morning and went to revolving restaurant and for the first time since i have been there, i realised that i have not actually been inside it while it is pouring. well, it rained today while i was eating so YAY!

food there was great. didnt take pictures because i dont trust my photography skills. furthermore, my handphone was not in my possession so too bad. :) the restaurant invited mascots. while staring like an insane at the mascots bouncing up and down and acting surprised, i could not help but wonder - next time if i desperately need money to sustain myself, would i throw away my dignity and be a mascot just to earn some money? the idea was tempting at first. my face would be covered, i should not feel embarassed. what is there to be embarassed about? you are bringing joy to the others by acting silly. YOU ARE LITERALLY PUTTING A SMILE ON THEIR FACES. COME ON! ITS NOT THAT BAD! however, from another point of view, a person contain a minimun amount of pride. and it is pride that keeps people from falling. right now, i would think "NO! I WONT DO IT" but if the situation was made real, i would not know what my decision would be. i would not even want to think about it. too scary.

right after that, we went back. my father wanted to bring us to the theatre to watch movies but we decided against that because there are some shows on MOBTV that is so much better than the movies they are currently showing. and out choice was correct. my sister, brother and i sat on the couch from 3 45 to 11 (excluding moments when we had to bathe, pee and have dinner). i bet the tv nearly melted. haha.

right now i am tyring to do a math, but i dont feel like doing it right now. there are so much things that i want to do. but i should not let myself succumb to temptations. "O" levels are coming and i have to think straight. no more distractions jia ying!

2010-02-13T03:46:00.001-08:00

i am so bored now.
right now, i cant help but to think about 29 and of course laugh at my childishness. what a onesided and wasted love on that man. totally not worth it. he is not worth my love.

everyone is gone

2010-02-13T03:22:00.000-08:00

there is seriously nothing to do online. i have been facebooking, playing facebook games and nothing else. i do not feel like studying because its new year's eve! i want to rest my ass off. and no much people are online too, i bet they have gone off to bai nian. nai da is not online. dominique is not online. dawn left for malaysia and is not online too. my 3 best buds are not online. i feel so bored. argh! :(

2010-02-12T23:13:00.000-08:00

today, i woke up at 10 30 in the morning. i was pleasantly surprised at myself for waking up at such a time. i thought i would wake up at around 2 in the afternoon i exceeded my expectation by waking up at what i would consider "unearthly hours" in sec 3. i guess it has been a habit of mine to wake up at this hour now. that is good becasue that is a healthy time to wake up. :)

i was reading through my book when my sister decided to switch on the television. we started to watch Digimon. at first, i grinned at that stupid idea of watching a show that we watch 7 years ago. however, the show was not as bad and as old-fashioned as i thought. it was a typical japanese manga show, but what made this show different from others is that their anime was simple and the background was gorgeous and enticing. i could imagine myself running in the flower field and the flowers of dynamic colours filling the air around me. at night, i could lay on the soft cushy grass, and stare at the stars bejewelling the night sky. the show was great i have to say. :) and i am not childish to watch such a show.

right after that we watch this show called cow something. i cant really remember. all i know is that there are three cows trying to nab this "yo'del" man and saving their farm. :) i am not sure how many times i have actually watched this show, but i watched it anyways.

and right now, i cant wait for dinner. my mother is preparing steamboat. our family have not had a steamboat dinner for ages. i really look forward to tonight's dinner. can't wait. so exhilarating. *jumps up and down*

hmmmm... ... i think that all my posts now are more mature than before. i dont blog about useless things. i blog about my life - not those childish occurings, but much happenings that starts people thinking.

oh, and one more thing. i was not down for SS remedial. almost more than half the class was down and i was astonished that i was not down for the remedial. for some obsucre reason, i have this feeling that i am not at all that bad for SS even though i failed it so many times in sec 3. i think this goes to prove that i am not really that bad in SS. :)

2010-02-12T03:19:00.000-08:00

today was a day that our class won the CNY deco. actually, we not really won. there was a tie with 4G1 and 4C3 and i do believe that C3 should'nt have had a tie with us. i mean, not to be rude or anything, but there was much more effort from our class. we prepared about 2 weeks ago while C3 only did last minute work. we had a red packet carpet. they didnt have. we had 2 tiger sculptures. they didnt have. we had our feelings written on orange paper and pasted on the wall. they didnt have. WHAT IS THERE MORE? why did we had a tie? i just could not fathom out why. never mind, no matter what the results of the judging is, i do believe that 4G1 owns the whole corridor of the second level.

everyone started to thank me and many of them hugged me. they said it was all thanks to me and even miss chee wanted to give me 2 honour points for putting in so much effort. i was so embarassed because i feel that i could have done more for the class. i believe that i could have been more patient with others while we are actually putting up the decorations. i feel that while i was putting up decorations, a lot of them ran to me to ask me for instructions and since i am too busy with what i am doing, i just answered some of them with a simple "yes" or "no". sometimes i would just brush them off. but then i had some who are willing to take charge, especially dawn and joey. they were the ones in charge of the wall. dyan,charmaine C, hilary, rosi, mei jun, and some others helped to paste the carpet on the floor. si hui and ammani the banner at the back. yi tong and charmaine T the banner. anna the plant. priya the tiger. and a lot more who did the wall. and i do believe that everyone contributed to the class in one way or another - the orange paper on the wall. :D

i didnt cry. because i sort of knew that our class would win. but then a tie?! never mind. i shall stop thinking of the unfainess of the tie.

i saw dominique dancing today. i can tell that her actions are slower than the rest and she was not that well prepared. but i recognise her by her constipated smile. :) and me and nai da were laughing at the fact that when we called her, she would laugh her low laughter on the stage and scare everyone. HOHOHOHOHO!

oh, and not to forgot, i have to apologise to nai-da for not bringing tablet today. so sorry. i am such a forgetful girl. i made your day in school horrible when you had to explain without the slides. i am so so sorry. i dont know how many times i have made you this sad, i bet countless of times. that was why i was not that happy when we won the class deco because i feel that i should not share the happiness with the class since i made you sad today. i aso sorry.

2010-02-11T02:55:00.000-08:00

i had this seriously wierd dream yesterday. wait... ... wierd is not such an appropriate word to use. PERVERTIC, SICK OR TRUAMITIZING are the perfect words to describe it. its about MC (if you know who that person is). i didnt recall the dream when i woke up. everything flooded my head while i was halfway brushing my teeth. i felt giddy. it is a dream as pervertic as dom's one. but i know that i have been changed by it and i would never be able to look at MC with a straight face again. its time to avoid MC as much as possible.

well, another thing. i am so touched that everyone, almost everyone tried to help out for the class deco. even when we are being locked out in the morning and precious time is lost, we still managed to finish it. it was then i realised that if many hands works together, the work can be done very quickly. but that is, if there are enough hands to work together. teamwork is crucial in accomplishing a matter asap. i am proud of my class but i shall not say that it is great because not class is great, its a matter of how close to great they are. :)

however, i need to emphasise that some studious people in the classs still do not really bother about the class CNY deco at all. all they care about it completing their homeowork on time even after my persistence in reminding them to contribut to the class. even worse, i know of this girl who said that "aiya, out class so plain, sure wont win one larh!" for our class CNY deoc last year and she did not even contribute at all. even better, this year, she did not even contribute, excaliming that she has classes bla bla. okay, fine, if you have classes, then can you at least bother to stay back during recess to help out? i have scarificed a week of my recess just to stay back to do the decorations. i even used my hands to paint when we were locked out. i guess some people do not change. well, as miss li has said before, i dont care if you are good in your studies, but if you are self-centered, then to me, you have failed as a person.

i hope we win this thing.

2010

2010-02-06T08:27:00.000-08:00

i guess that is is quite late to make a 2010 post now. but i think i shall revive my blog after a year of ignorance. but then again, ignorance is bliss.
talking about ignorance, i realised that some classmates of mine are so stuck up in their own world to care about the class. SELF CENTEREDNESS is what miss lee would call it. for the whole day, they would only care about completing their homework on time, try to ace in their exams and at the same time, ignore everything around them.
even when i told them to bring hong baos for CNY deco, it took them 7 days later to give it to me. needless to say, i was constantly pestering them for it, posting up announcements in the class portal, posting announcements on my wall and whatever etc. NOT TO MENTION, SOME OF THEM STILL DO NOT EVEN BOTHER TO GIVE IT TO ME. i set me to wonder what is wrong with their mind.
why cant they do such a simple act, searching for hong baos, put it in their bags and handing it to me the next day? it would not even last them more than 5 minutes?! insolent brats. too wrapped up in their own lives i think.
they can do so well in their exams, scoring well above an A1, handing in their homework on time but they just simply cant hand up hong baos on time. the reason? HONG BAO LARH! CNY DECO! WASTE MY TIME! NOT WORTH IT. hello?! it does not even take more than 5 minutes! what is there to complain about?!
the class comm have been working hard for this CNY deco and you guys did not even bother to care about us. when some of you saw me putting up CNY decorations, you criticize my work. talking is easy, but doing it not. i am the victim here, having to listen to your mean words. can;t you just care more about others?
even better, some of you saw me slaving at the back of the classroom and what did you do? you guys just ask "jia ying?! need help anot?"
i just said " no need la, its okay"
you guys then just walked away, without even bothering to ask "really a not? you sure?" and being more persistent in asking me if i was alright. there was not even a hint of sincerity in your voice when you asked me if i needed help.

i guess my class isnt that great after all.

and i am not that great either, but i am tyring hard to improve mmyself. WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS DO THE SAME?!

*p.s. thanks for those who really helped

2009-11-04T04:26:00.000-08:00

ohhhh... ...
i just realised that this is my 100th post.
HAPPY 100TH POST
and i just want to say that i love max loong
he is my future husband
MAX LOONG IS MY LOVE.

total losers

2009-10-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

i feel that those people who spent their whole lives watching anime are the biggest losers on earth. dont they know that the stories are fake? they are made up. its not worth your time. they kill communication.

it send shivers up my spine looking at those girls with so not proportion large eyes and horrendously short skirts and NOT TO MENTION - THEIR FAKE SQUEAKY ACT CUTE VOICE.

so, get up and get going.

anime it shit.

p.s. - dominique says that 29 lives with a man and that he was her neighbour in the past.
WHAT A SMALL WORLD!

peculiar

2009-09-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

i haven't been blogging - (typing down my feelings) for god knows how long.
i have decided to try it out all over again today and it feels really weird.
it's like as if i don't know how to convey my emotions with words.
well, it doesn't really matter to me anyway, because right now i am a person who convey my feelings through drawings and paintings and not through words.
so, what am i doing here, trying with desperate attempt to express myself through words?
i'm here just to see how much i have changed for a year.
i'm here just to take a good laugh at myself for being so childish by really typing down my feelings here for the whole world to see.
IT A GOOD THING THAT NO ONE VISITS THIS BLOG ANYMORE.
this blog is all mine - mine alone.
its the place where i seek peace and serenity when the whole world falls apart.

DUDE, IM LIKE REPLYING TO MYSELF. I'VE GOT TO STOP DOING THAT.
P.S. just finished sketching another vegetable leaf - it looks great. got to upload it sometime. if i ever have the time. that is.

art works only... ...

2009-09-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

if this small little box could be a present to 29 from me, it would be heaven. but it relatively impossible so im keeping this to myself.
if one of the bird could be me and the other 29... ...
i just want to have a feel of destroying someone else face
my "O" level art subject sketches

yes, i do not wish to say much here, but i believe that i need this blog to publish my recent art works.

2009-06-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

i think i am going to abandon this blog, and go on to another blog x)
and no one wille ver know of my new, secret blog.

and i think my new secret blog will be full of:
lame things.
:)

2009-06-07T07:40:00.001-07:00

hmmmmm... ...
i truly want to believe that i did the correct decision today
i have soon come to the conclusion that is i do not delete 29 from my friend's list, the madness would never dissipate. EVER.
thus, i deleted 29 from my friend's list
and i felt... ...
relieved.
it was as if the "madness" vanished, crumbled into dust.
i have never felt this relief in so many years.
i felt great.
and strangely, not sad.
tommorow will be a new day! :D

2009-06-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BROTHER! :D

2009-06-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

I'M HEREBY OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCING TO THE WOLRD THAT I'M GOING TO FORGET 29 ONCE AND FOR ALL.

2009-06-01T05:24:00.000-07:00

It was as if I was back on the OBS camp again, with all my friends and the instructors beside me. The sun was blinding. The weather was killer-hot. We were standing on the edge of a wide cliff and facing the sea. Except it was not the sea. It was something else. It looked like an area of barren dry yellow caked land – stripped of what should be there, the sea. There was also a wall of jagged rocks, with pieces of decomposed logs, rusted nails and god-knows-what-else, plastered to the wall.
When I first saw the desiccated land, there was a indescribable feeling within me. How should I phrase it? Oh yes – a feeling of distress, but my premonition was telling that there was danger ahead. I heard my instructor mumbling something incoherent and everyone rushed away from me. I was too mesmerized (in a negative way), to notice that I was alone by myself, away from the group of friendly people I know.
Suddenly, without warning, water began seeping through the cracks of the wall. Like a movie being played in slow motion, the walls began crumbling a few inches then all of it, and I mean all of it, collapsed forward. Before I was able to react, huge torrents of water gushed forward – towards me. Strangely, the water was swirling while it came gushing towards me.
It was a while before I began running for my life. Somehow, beyond scientific explanation, I found this flight of ladder which would lead me upwards, away from the dangerous plight I am in. instinctively, I climbed like there was no tomorrow.
I thought I would be finished with the climbing. However, I was soon proved wrong. The flight of ladder seemed to go on for eternity, leading me nowhere. I can feel the water engulfing me and my fingers slipping from the handle of the ladder. I can feel the water splashing mercilessly onto my head. I can feel my wet hair plastered against my flustered face. But I “lost” my vision. I had my eyes shut to prevent the water from getting into my eye.
I kept on climbing and climbing, my fingers slipping and my shoulders aching with each ascend. Wait, it should not be described as ascend – I felt like I was climbing, but no progress was made. It was not long before I could no longer support myself, thus letting myself go and falling into nothingness. Everything stopped and I jerked up from my bed.
It was just a dream.

2009-05-31T02:54:00.000-07:00

i dont want to believe it
i dont dare to believe it
yesterday's dream was wierd
very wierd
very wierd
very wierd
i dreamt abt sth... ... lots of things... ...
i am quite unsure
everything was blurry and unclear
its like walking through a fog
or a dense forest
but then at the end of the dream
i dreamt of 29
dreamt of me and 29 talking and going onto facebook together to do some quiz
we laughed
there;s more to it
but i dont want to say here
its embarassing

2009-05-30T02:33:00.000-07:00

me and da jie had a heart to heart talk on msn yesterday
and we told each other about some secret
haha!
and we realised we are not as flirty as before
and da jie said that
we have lost our charm!
-.-!
haha!
yeah, i think so too, its like we do not know how to communicate with guys anymore
or to initiate a talk
yeahhhhhhhhh.
and now i am sad
because 29 have not accepted
its been 2 days
and i am still counting
what if i am left to count forever?

2009-05-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

I AM STILLL REELING FROM THE FACT THE I FOUND 29'S BLOG
IT WAS BY PURE CHANCE
IM FEELING QUITE DIZZY NOW
LIKE OMG
I CANNOT HELP BUT SMILE
AND GRIN
AND MY FINGERS TREMBLED STILL
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE IT

2009-05-08T05:19:00.000-07:00

it over. its finally over. i don want to talk about it. all i know is that it is over! :)

i realised that angela is such a funneh and crazy friend! :) this morning, the first thing i heard from yan ting - did you know that mas selamat is caught? i went - wahhhht?
i thought it was kind of interesting, this fact, so i went around telling everyone. when i told anglea, she acted like she was crying and wiping her 'tears' with tissue, 'sobbing' : " my husband got caught!" then, within seconds, she suddenly asked " how he got caught one ah?". i was - eh, its you husband leh! you should know. she went " HOW I KNOW? THAT TIME HE SAY 'DEAR, YOU NOW HAVING EXAMS, DON WOORY SO MUCH ABOUT ME'". I LAUGHED LIKE A MAD DOG.
she is so funneh! i think if i ever get sad or want some laughter, i should go hang out with her. she is hilarious. XD

2009-04-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

stressed.
now then i realise the horrible consequences of procrastinating
i haven finish e math homework and the three test papers
chinese paper one and paper two homework
haven prpared shao nian wen zhai
haven completely revised chem
haven enve started to revise geog and bio
totally have no clue about anything on ss
wasted times
but since i am so stressed now, then id rather go play some games
tomorrow then do my work

2009-04-20T06:04:00.001-07:00

i think that today must be the most memorable day of my sec three life.
first: during miss sim's lesson
miss sim asked us what was the mole concept thing called. most of us was trying to pronounce the word like aunties "AH-VARH-GARH... ..." then miss sim was so funneh. she said that we talk like pa sah malam aunties, and she say must say more high class then ppl will think that we more educated. she speak the word in such a high class and funny way that amanda laughed non-stop. so funneh!
second: during p.e
the sky was so dark. we knew it was goin to rain and some of us warned our pe teacher. the pe teacher just ignored us and went ahead with her plans - run 2.4. in the end, while half the class was running halfway through, it started to rain like mad! it was pouring. luckily, i was almost in school. the others are still halfway through the canal. when they made their way back, they were drenched like mad!
oh, abd this experience made one of my dream come true! one of the things that i want to do before i die : walk/ run in the rain! yay! one dream down!
last: after schoool
rosi and i were playing. and then she went to put this red cluth on my head, which i did not pay much attention to. then i went out of the class, go around the whole school trying to find mad katini;s pigeon hole - WITH THE THING ON MY HEAD! THAT THING IS RED MY GOD! SO EYE CATCHING! EVEYONE MUST BE LIKE - WHO IS THIS GIRL AH! SO STUPID! GO PUT THAT THING ON HER HEAD! OMG! SO EMBARASSING! SAD SAD SAD.

2009-04-20T06:04:00.000-07:00

2009-04-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

sec three life is so... ... (*sigh)
i owe lim hong geok so many news paper article
i haven revised bio
i haven memorised chemistry
i haven finish lucy tan's homework
haven finish preparing for my art exam
AND THERE'S 2.4 RUN TML
GREAT!

2009-04-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

I AM GOING TO WORK HARD LIKE MAD NOW AND GOING TO GET FIRST!
IF YOU READ THIS AND START TO FEEL SCARED AND THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK EXTRA HARD, START ASKING OTHER PEOPLE AROUND FOR NOTES - YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE KIA-SU SINGPAOREANS. WHY BOTHER IF PEOPLE WANTS TO WORK HARD MAN? IF YOU HAVE WORKED HARD ENOUGH, THEN THATS GOOD ENOUGH. YOU DON NEED TO COMPARE WITH OTHERS - DONT COMPARE WITH YOURSELF TO ANYONE IN THIS WORLD, IF YOU COMPARE, YOU ARE INSULTING YOURSELF.
I HAVE REALISED THAT SOME PEOPLE THAT I HAVE MET ALONG MY JOURNEY THROUGH CRESCENT GIRLS, ARE SELFFISH DEEP DOWN. ON THE SURFACE, THEY ACT ALL GOODY-TWO-SHOES, CLAIM THAT THEY ARE STUPID, THEY NEVER WORK HARD ENOUGH, TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL SUPERIOR, WHEN ACTUALLY, THEY STUDY LIKE MAD.
WHY DO THESE HYPOCRITE THINGS?
THATS SO IRRITATING YOU KNOW?
YOU WANT TO DO WELL, THEN STUDY HARD - DO NOT STUDY HARD AND TRY TO PULL PEOPLE DOWN AT THE SAME TIME.
THATS ABSOLUTELY NOT FAIR
THATS MEAN
THATS IMMORAL
TELL PEOPLE YOU HAVE NO MORALS
SOON, YOU WILL HAVE NO FRIENDS!
AND I'LL SEE HOW YOU FALL INTO THE ABYSS OF LONLINESS
I FEEL SO LUCKY THAT I HAVE MADE THESE THREE OTHER FIRENDS!
WE CALL OURSELVES THE CHICKEN BUTTS!
WE SHARE NOTES, STUDY TOGETHER, TEACH EACH OTHER
THATS WHY I LOVE THE CHICKEN BUTTS
BUT MOST OF MY CLASSMATES ARE NICE TOO!
THEY TEACH ME WHEN I AM IN DOUBT
EXCEPT FOR 1 OR 2, WHO DONT EVEN GLANCE AT ME ONCE
EXCEPT WHEN I DID WELL
THEN THEY START BEFRIENDING ME, TRY TO GET MY NOTES, THEN DUMP ME LIKE A HOT SACK OF POTATO.
THATS SO MEAN.

2009-04-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

I AM SO HARDWORKING TODAY!
today, i revised on bio - everything went in
did my physics - everything went in
did a math homework - everything went int
e math homework - everything went in

going to revise geog later
and do english later
and do chinese later
haha!
i am going to work hard now
its still not too late!
jia you jia ying!

2009-04-07T04:05:00.001-07:00

i am feeling so lazy now.
i've been wasting my time from 3 till now.
and i still am
lazy girl man
lazy girl

2009-04-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

i have broken all ties with kanda!
i dunno whether ot be happy or not,
but i feel like i rarely think of him now,
not as much as i think of 29
my love for kanda is as expected by my friends - fading with time
but my love for 29 will never change,
it is still strong
from my p6 days till now
and i guess that it will never change
not ever
well, only my da jie knows who 29 is!
BYE KANDA! I WILL NEVER THINK OF YOU AGAIN!
:D

today's cca game was very fun!
i love it
good job for jin wei, andro and iva!
good job good job!
you guys are great leaders!
:D

<3 ojy

2009-04-04T07:14:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the best night's sleep i have ever had in my secondary school days!
i slept throughtout the night, without waking up.
not even once!
i slept at 11p.m. and woke up around 9:30.
ALL BY MYSELF!
and when i woke up, went to the toilet, brush my teeth --------
at that exact moment, i remembered my dream
and realised that it was this dream that had kept me asleep throughout the night.
dream: about 29 (only da and san jie know who 29 is)
i also cannot believe it myself.
i was trying to get to sleep that night
and i suddenly mumbled 29's name over and over again
think of 29 over and over again
before i fell asleep.
then i dreamt
of 29.
like
oh
my
god
and i realised that i still miss 29. :(
sad life sad life sad life.
man, i have this irresistible urge to go see 29 now!
but its like : 想见不能见
just like what dawn always says : sad to the max/ sad like mad.

yeah man er jie! he is a 'yag'! and he is quite shuai de ok!
at first pan wei bo also man shuai de, but then his MV to perverted
then i don like him liao.
you should go watch adam lamburt sing!
and his expression
and his eyes.
man! omg! HOT.

and jin wei!
thanks for telling how to phrase "yag"
-.-
haha

2009-03-30T04:31:00.000-07:00

me and dominique are so lame!

i think only the two of us talk about something so lame in the chicken butt clan!

i think just a few days ago, while we were walking back to class, we started to talk about crushes.

then suddenly, we asked each other which kind of guy i the perfect guy.

my answer : must be those very sensitive kind one!

dominique: got meh? that kind nice meh?

me : nice what! those kind like, watch very sad movie, then you cry, he support you, but then secretly cry by himself those kind

dominique : eh! liddat very sweet leh!

then we looked at each other and started laughing like mad!

i was like - we should feel very sensitive and emotional here! but why are we laughing? i still cannot figure out why! haha!

totally funneh!

oh, i finally liked a real guy! not really like. its more like enchanted, mesmerised, captivated!

LOOK AT THOSE EYES MAN! THEY HAVE THIS AURA! THIS KINF OF SERIOUSNESS THAT I LIKE! OMG!

but then, too bad he is er... ... how to say. its very difficult to put them into words. he is just. ok, those who know me tell me that he is a yag. (figure this out yourself) so sad. i finally like idolise one guy, then in the end, it turned out like that. maybe i should never like a guy, except for kanda! yeah! i should! heheheh! :)

2009-03-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

today is the second last day of the march holidays
and miraculously, my microsoft words started to function like it should a few months before
this is the laziest march holiday i have ever spent
but it was quite fun actually
in fact,
it was good

i remember that in sec 1 and 2, i studied and wasted my time on studies during march holidays
but now,
i watched tv, played games, stared at the sky, eat loads of goodies and most important of all... ...
PROCRASTINATED.
actually, procrastinating is not a bad thing.
indeed, you just have to know this :
i am a PRO cos i am CRASTINATING. (this wrods does not exist, but just think of it as genius)
I AM SO OPTIMISTIC!
ALWAYS LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE!

haha! yeah man! geok geok youe qi and i should try to find time to go out soon!
though i doubt it
because of my shitty common test grades.

2009-03-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

this is so pathetic man!
haha. i dont know whether i should laugh or just smirk at this childishness
you want to use this "mysterios present" to entice us to go for your physics lesson?
HA!
FAT CHANCE!
i will not fall for your INGENIOUS plan
i know that i fail terribly for my physics, and i am proud of that
13/40
what beautiful numbers!
makes me smile and laugh, like never before
your idea makes me puke all my internal organs out!
oh, and for a teacher, you are super mean and rude
you scolded my friend shit! - indirectly
you went " (my firends name), your physics homework is 5-H-1-+"
5-H-1-+ means - shit
you are super mean! i bet you come from some shitty neighbourhood school
you have - no respect, no morals and no control for yourself
hey man! you are a teacher!!!!!! like WTH
i am a student, of course i have the right to gossip and scold
i knew i soclded you a lot, but i did not do it RIGHT INFRONT OF YOUR FACE, like what you did to my dear friend!
sigh - i've had enough.
you are worse that mr teo, and now, i start to appreciate mr teo a bit.

okok, i must be more happy!
ohoh, i got this results for english, i am not going to tell how much i got
but you can guess
when miss vanitha said my marks for eng,
the whole class went quiet and gasped
cos they did not expect me to get this grade
well, it was shocking for me too!
and in the end, i was made to hug miss vanitha
cos that was the chicken butt clan rule.
haha! dawn and nadia saw me hug, but dominique wasnt there. haha!
dom missed the chance!

ohoh, and my parents and sister went to malaysia already
for 4 days!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMM!
YEAH BAEEEEEBAAAEEEEEEHHHHHHH!
OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH

2009-02-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

having physics lesson now.
and now, i suddenly miss miss ho li yi so much
i miss her voice, her lessons, her words and most of all, her strictness.
i really miss her so much
now, in sec three, when she is not here,
and when i glance at the physics questions, i fell like dying
acceleration? velocity? speed? friction? energy?
WHAT ARE ALL THESE?
to make matters worse - the lesson is so boring
the teacher do not want to like, be close to us.
on the first day, i remember her saying : i cannot get close to you guys, later you all step over my head."
what in the world?
what kind of thing is that?
what kind of thinking?
what kind of understnading?
now, i am not even listening to the physics teacher
i might as well fail the subject
that would make me feel better
yeah. i am going to fail physics

well, lets talk about something more fun.
wait... ...
there is not hing fun happening now.
so boring.
i need to memorise 2 chapters of bio
memorise the periodic trends and naming of chemicals
i need to do 3 common test paper of a math and a math revision h/w
need to file e math file, need to do 4 e math common test papers... ...
i just want to jump off a building a die a slow and painful death than to tackle all these.

at least namita is not coming today
that's something to brighten my day
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... .. .. .. .. . . . .. . . . . . . ..........

2009-02-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

omg!
i haven been blogging in school for such a long time!
livia is beside me!
and and and!
physics is so boring? or is it my teacher that is boring?
well, i guess its both!
i finally found time to blog!
omg!
i feel so happy!
later going to have boring e math, but the teacher is nice though
and and
SS! ohoh!
namita broke her wrist and not coming for 3 weeks!
I AM SO HAPPY!
i was cursing her form the day i saw her!
so now mr poon is the relieve teacher. or relief?
never mind!
but its such a nice change of atmosphere when he comes in!
ss will be exciting!
i look forward to it now, until namita comes back la!
omg!
i seriously do not understand physics!
it is like so boring and so hard!
if it is interesting and hard, it is ok
if it is boring, but easy, it is ok
BUT IF IT IS BORING AND HARD...... IT IS NOT OK!

2009-02-10T04:55:00.000-08:00

STRESSED.
there will be bio, chem and physics test next week?!
god!
why can't they just like, give it to us little by little
instead of thowing everything at us like no one's freakin business?
there is a whole lot of physics to learn (i cannot understand the graph at all)
there is a whole lot of bio to memorise (my teacher is so boring, what a great tip)\
there is a whole lot of chemicals to memorise (but miss sim is so nice)
i feel as if the whole world is onto me!
i am suffocating
choking
gasping
wheezing
and dying
SERIOUSLY!
THERE IS SS TEST AND GEOG TEST TML!
shit!
i dont want to study it at all. i hate namita
when i look at the ss textbook, i think of that repulsive piece of shit
makes me want to puke all my internal organs out
may be i should make up an excuse - fail ss? because namita prevented us from opening textbook.
YEAH!
that is what i should do
oh man, i am seriously stressed
maybe,
maybe, i would really cry and break the record
for once.
i wonder if i am able to live through this.
or even better, crawl through this by myslef?
okok, breathe in and breathe out......
do things one step at a time.
slowly
calmly
do through physics first - that is your worst subject jia ying
then memorise biology - you have almost finished memorising it. just need to know how to apply
afterwhich, is chemistry - just remind yourself of miss sim and do your best on it
OH SHIT! STILL HAVE PERIODIC TABLE. i am seriosly on the verge of breaking down
then then then english - ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
well, tonight, i am going to cry my heart out when i am in my bed.
nono.
i should cry myself to sleep
yes, that's better
cry myself to sleep
or
cry and sing myself to sleep... ... ...
i miss 29 so much. i need 29's encouragement or just to see 29's face.
that would be enought to keep me going

2009-02-08T04:20:00.000-08:00

oh my gosh. i feel bloated, and kind of strange.
what is wrong with me?
usually, without fail, i would have my water bottle infront of me when i am doing my work.
bu today?
i have a bottle of ice mountain, a can of green tea (pokka), a bowl of soup and my water bottle infront of me when i am doing my work.
i did not realise that though, until now.
haha.
i think i am bored and restless then,
and went to arrange them according to their height... ...
so there, you have a very funny scene - me sitting in front of bottles and a bowl of liquid.
i cannot help but laugh to myself
I AM SO WIERD.
is this the symptoms of stress? or evern worse, depression?
am i falling into the abyss of or falling into a sea of "wierdness"?
or maybe its just me?
i have this type of bored shitless character?
looking from another point of view, it think i can create laughter out of the boringest of things!
hey!
that's something to be proud of!
oh man, this is so random!
urgh, i can feel all the different types of liquid sloshing in my tummy. >< (tummyache)

2009-02-07T05:43:00.000-08:00

this is absolutely absurd.
well, it is absolutely, ABSOLUTELY (stressing) not my fault that i luaghed
how can i stop myself from laughing when you pronounced asset like acid?
WHAT THE HELL?
think that we speak strangely?
well, go record your own voice and listen to it yourself?
don't like it here?
then GO BACK TO YOUR HOME COUNTRY
do not feel welcomed here?
uh-huh, this is so right - we do not welcome you here too
what a coincidence
you step into the class and asked :"CLASS DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS ACID?"
guess what is my first thought?
I THOUGHT OF ACID AND ALKALINE. THE CHEMICALS. I BET YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS CHEMICAL.
i contemplated on that though. acid alkaline. what does it have to do with SS?
i turned around and talked to my friends about it
when you said "ACID! A-S-S-E-T"
i cannot help but laughed my ass out
hey?!
go for pronounciation classes please?
your pronounciation is ATROCIOUS?
and you still dare to scold me? ask me to stand? ask for my name? then stare at me i the eye?
WELL? STARED ENOUGH?
YOU THINK I DON'T DARE TO STARE BACK AT YOU IS IT?
YOU ARE WRONG.
I STARED BACK.
IF I COULD, I WOULD PUKE IN YOUR FACE
people look at you, they feel disgusted
people hear your voice, they would wish they would not have hearing organs
people sitting for your lesson would die
what is your only punishment against us?
DEMERITS? is that the best you can do?
well, the whole sec 3 cohort despise you
even the students from the same religion and race hates you as well
laugh at your accent?
you don't like it?
then change yourself?
if not, then get out.
OUT.
IF THERE ARE NO RULES,
i fear that i would not have the control
to slap you
kick you
puch you
stab you
scream at you
shoot you
and hurl vulgarities at you
THE POINT IS......
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

2009-01-22T03:36:00.001-08:00

i realised that i cannot live without a blog. yeah, i am so sorry to my new year's resolution. ><
well, time really flies. i still fell like a primary school kid. i can still remember myself staring at the television. but, WOW, 22 days have passed since the begining of january.

speaking about my class. i love it. but i still miss the noisiness of 2s2 and how the teachers have tto scream at us for us to shut our mouths.

i made a few friends. THANKS TO DOMINIQUE AND DAWN AND NADIA, the days in school have been bearable. if not, i would sleep throughout the school hourse due to the eerie silence of the class. we four, had lots of fun during the lessons. china scholar cry baby, china and indian accent, monkey, barbie song etc. you guys have made my day everyday. HA HA! thanks guys.

well, the others are not so bad either. they listen to each other and are very organised. hmmmmm. i think i have nothing to complain about this class except for 1 teacher la. well, i am not going to elaborate much more on that.

i realised that my principle have not been in school for a few weeks already. and thus, i have not been complaining about her. i feel so relieved. i do not wish to always complain about people now. and i do not wish to use vulgar words anymore. haha.

well, i feel so tired now. OMG.

2009-01-01T00:59:00.000-08:00

i am officially abandoning my blog.
and thus, i am leaving my past behind me.
and starting a new year!

2008-12-28T03:45:00.000-08:00

oh my god, my whole family went to queensway shopping centre to do some shopping. then i saw this shoe - i fell in love with it. it was like, i wass skimming through the piles of shoes and then this shoe caught my attention. I LOVE IT. but then it cost $119. so, i am waiting for the offer thing. sigh. my shoe.

2008-12-24T01:57:00.000-08:00

LOVE STORY - TAYLOR SWIFT

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony of summer air
See the lights,
See the party the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello
Little did I know
That you were romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go,
and I said
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and
I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quite cause we're dead if they know
So close your eyes
Let's keep this down for a little while
Cause you were romeo
I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from juliet
But you were everything to me
And I was begging you please don't go
and I said
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince
I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Romeo save me, then try to tell me how it is
This love is difficult,
but it's real,
Don't be afraid
We'll Make it out of looseness
It's a love story baby just say yes,
oh,
I got time to waiting
Wondering if you would ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts to town
I said
Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head,
I don't know what to think
He fells to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said
Marry me juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all the reason for
I talk to your dad go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

well, i soon realised that there are some things that is very difficult to write in chinese. but that goes the same for english.

this song really reminds me of kanda.
he's like romeo.
if he ever ever "fell to the ground and pulled out a ring And said ' Marry me juliet you;ll never have to be alone. i love you and thats all the reason for ' ".
i will cry.
And say yes.
because he is everyhting to me.
i will never ever love another guy except for kanda.
even though i knew that all people thinks that i am crazy and irrational,
i will still keep on waiting,
i will keep on waiting for the day kanda will appear
and say that to me.
its all because,
i belive in fairy tales.
i belive that it will come ture for me.
eventually.

2008-12-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

我亲爱的朋友，elaine gao yi, 说我的英文有很多错误，所以从今天开始，我决定要用华文。我要大声大声地向全世界宣布：“从今天开始，我，王加（加三点水）颖，不会再着网上用英文！”
我讨厌英文！恨死英文！真的很想踩死你！去死吧英文！

2008-12-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

wow, like oh my god. i just completed one of my chinese december holiday composition. needless to say, i completed it in 2 hours. i kept on thinking about what to write and cracking my brain endlessly just to complete a 897 word chinese essay. AND I STILL HAVE 3 MORE TO DO! god save me from this workload of hell. spare me some mercy!
well, my parents went to the "chikugunya infested" malaysia yester-yesterday, which means my siblings and i will have the whole house to ourselves! you know, in the past, when our parents went out to malaysia without us, we would celebrate - milo for breakfast, KFc for lunch and pizza for dinner. that is what i call "shiok". but then, this time round, its different! i tell you, its so different! well, i don't know what happened to my brother's head (he's the one whos in charge of the three meals), he decided that he will be "healthy". -.-! hey man! what's the point of being healthy for only three unsupervised day when we are always healthy eating our mom's steamed rice, fish, vegetables? why don't we let ourselves enjoy our lives at least?
uh-huh. i found out the reasons. there are at least TWO of them.
- my brother states that he do not want to die early.
- before leaving, my parents announced, practically to the whole world that my brother is the best brother my sister and i could ever had and they knew he would buy healthy food for us. (yeah, right). that made my brother guilty.
ARGH! well, i am now, trying to convince him to listen to me and to be "unhealthy" for only three days. well, i almost succeeded today. i bet i will be VICTORIOUS TML! AHAHAHA. the evil OJY - unbeatable, sly, cunning and clever. no one can stop me!
oh, now its the time to be sad. i was bored, so i went from one blog to another by clicking on the links. then i came across this chi teacher from my pri sch. wow, i had to say, i made a problem for myself! i don't know why, but i just cannot help myself. i looked through the blog. i saw this ivdeo on "mid-autum festival" in 2008. uh-huh. i am sad once again. i really miss my pri sch days a lot! esp my pri 6 days! i really really miss it. to tell the truth, i even thought 2 years have flashed across me, i still feel like a pri 6 kid, mugging over PSLE and thinking of 2...... ehem, well never mind. i always frind trouble for myself man. when will this craze over my pri 6 sch days stop?!

2008-12-03T08:15:00.000-08:00

my fav song in p6, can still rmb geok shan knew that and wrote down the song lyrics for me! here it is:
小时候我总会这样牵着你的手
只是盼望能够在你的身边守候
为了保护你不小心割破手指头
这个小伤却让你泪流心痛
长大后我们越来越远
分隔地球的两边
何时才能够见面
熟悉微笑的脸
回忆起我们小时候
闭上眼就能够感受
在我们心中慢慢流动的温柔
离开了我们小时候
现在你会不会想我
也许你找到一个人为你守候
我了了
小时候我总会这样牵着你的手
只是盼望能够在你的身边守候
为了保护你不小心割破手指头
这个小伤却让你泪流心痛
长大后我们越来越远
分隔地球的两边
何时才能够见面
熟悉微笑的脸
回忆起我们小时候
闭上眼就能够感受
在我们心中慢慢流动的温柔
离开了我们小时候
现在你会不会想我
也许你找到一个人为你守候
我了了
回忆起我们小时后
闭上眼就能够感受
站在窗前跟你说了晚安就走离开了我们小时候
现在的你不在想我
这个时候我了了

i do not know why, but this morning, i had this urge - this undescribable temptation to go look throught my P6 stuff, which i saved in 2006. i looked through at the cards, the presents, some of the worksheets and my childish unreadable handwriting then. the cards made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. the presents let me remind of the moment when i received them. the worksheets remind me of how hard i worked to improve on my english and other subject to show to miss winnie ng that i, ong jia ying, can do well. the handwriting let me think of how i have come all the way to today.
the presents, cards:
- i can remember how geokshan gave me a box of pens! (blue, red, green, purple and black) it is wrapped in two gift wrappings, and until now, i still cannot figure out why my san jie wants to have two gift wrappings! ha-ha. i can remember, as clear as water, how i recieved this present. i think it was 16 june or sth, my class has supplementary lessons and i was making my way to my class and i just walked past the hall - this is when geok shan rushed up to me and handed me the present. ^^sweet.
- i had a green file which mun shuen gave me during class. haven seen her in 2 years. wonder how she is coping with her life now.
- a card and a box of chocolates from rachel wong yen. haven talked to her for quite some time. oh, u have really changed a lot dear, since the day i left BPPS and stepped into CGS. i knew that time, i saw her walking all around, during recess and in class with weiting, with a paper in her hands. i wanted to see the contents of the letter, but then, she vehemently ignored me. ha-ha. then i finally found out that she and weiting asked everyone of my other firends to write something on the paper 0 which became a beautiful card! oh, and i really enjoyed the box of chocolates!
- the letters i had with yue qi. makes me think of how fast time flies.

shit, i think i need to go now! but there are more. i think i will update tml.

2008-12-01T02:20:00.000-08:00

男同学脸上有伤疤，会比较吸引你的目光吗？据《自由时报》报道，英国最新研究指出，脸部有伤疤的男性比较赢得女性的青睐。英国利物浦与史特灵大学研究人员把脸部带有伤疤，和脸上无伤痕的男女性照片给220名受测者观看。结果发现，女性认为有伤疤的男性较具短期关系吸引力;而脸上有无伤疤并没有影响男性对女性吸引力的评等。报道指出，这是首度有研究显示，在某种情况下，伤疤可能凸显人的重要特性。目前还不清楚女性为何喜欢伤疤，有理论指出伤疤提供此人过去曾遭创伤的明显证据，可能可以传递有关人生经历与个性的资讯；也有理论说，有伤疤的男性可能让女性认为他富有冒险性格、男子气概等

unbelievable. people these days - have nothing to do. why would they even want to try out that experiment? guys with scars on their face attract more girls...... to tell the truth, i have never in my whole life even thought about this kind of stuff. needless to say, even do an experiement on it. suprise suprise, the "powerful imagination" of the human's mind. like whatever.

2008-11-29T07:17:00.000-08:00

bored shitless

2008-11-21T23:48:00.000-08:00

i am sitting all alone in my room, waiting for the sun to set and rise again. some stranger's playing piano and the music entertains me for a moment, only for a moment before it is nothing but an irritating sound. the scene outside the window is marvellous - the sky was snowy white and it fades into a dark blue into the distance. it seems that it is going to rain any minute now.
everyone has got something to do, for example - reading, watching TV, going to school for their CCA etc. but not me.
let's get to the point. i am bored. there is absolutely nothing for me to do. it unbelievable, but i am starting to miss my seconday two days - mugging for my 5 tests in a week and staying up late just to memorise some of the subjects.
well, at least there is one thing i can do to pass this boredom - imagining about my sec 3 life. i guess that sec 3 life would be very hectic for me, especially when i have to take triple science and art at the same time. but i think i love it just the same. i have gotten my dream subjects and i am not going to drop any of them. i would do almost everything to ace them.
at least during the holidays next year, i would not be stoning at home staring at the ceiling and talking to myself. i would have to take lots of courses for my art subject and that makes me very happy.
speaking of art, i just realised that i have not touched my pencil and my sketchbook for quite sometime already. HEY. now i have found somthing that i can do! ha-ha. but i would soon get bored again.
BUT! all these boredom would be gone. i would go out with my dear primary school friends on 24 november, which is only two days away. i look forward to it.
now, the sky has turned dark blackish blue, with a few spalshes of white here and there.
at least i have found somthing i can do.

2008-11-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

after i read my da jie's recent post on accompanying her sister to get her PSLE results, i began to think about 29. ok, OJY, you have to stop thinking about 29!
YOU
HAVE
TO
STOP
THINKING
ABOUT
29

2008-11-19T22:44:00.000-08:00

today is the day where the PSLE results are released. haha.
guess what? this morning, i was the last in the whole family to wake up. my brother was walking around the house. he looked nervous. to tell the truth, i felt excited to know about my sister's results too!
my mom, needless to say, kept on mumbling to herself and pacing around the whole house! the whole house was quiet, except for me and my brother guessing my sister's results. my brother guessed that she would get 249, i guessed that she would get 252 or 254 and my parents guessed that she would get 256.
it seems like eternity before my sister called. my mom ran, SHE RAN, to get her handphone. WOW, IT WAS EXCITING AND THE ATMOSPHERE WAS TENSE. but i will not tell how much my sister got, but she did VERY VEY VERY well. haha. she did better than my PSLE score, which was 244.
well, then, i think i started to think about my primary school days. it suddely occurred to me that EXCATLY 2 years before, on this day, i am actualy getting abck my PSLE resutls. then i started to feel sad again. how time flies man. two years have passed and i still feel like an immature primary 6 kid! to actually think that i am going yo be sec three next year, taking my combination I subjects and art - its going to be very hectic. and instead of fearing sec three life, like my some of my friends, i actually look forward to the sec 3 life. ABSURD. WIERD. PECULIAR. oh well, i before i knew it, i would be taking my 'o' levels, and then 'a' levels, going to plytechnic or university. LASTLY, i would have to go out and earn a living for myself. and and and, after that, i would be DEAD. i wonder if i will go to heaven or hell? bleah, there is no such thing as heaven or hell. its just what the people in the past made up.

2008-11-19T03:23:00.000-08:00

2008-11-14T22:26:00.000-08:00

i'm back from bintan, but i feel so bored now and lazy to blog about it. i think i would blog about it in the next few days.

ok, well, on 13 november (the release of sec 2 results), around 8:25 a.m., i had this wierdest dream. i dreamt that i went to 3g1. i woke up with a jerk and i began to fret about the dream. is i dream telling me somthing? should i believe it? then i decided not to believe it. it's just a dream right? what cam actually come out of it? and anyway, my math and science is over 75% and my level position is 40. of course i would get into 3c3. then i went back to sleep again. within a few minutes, the house phone rang. it woke me up for a few minutes but then i went back to sleep again. i think that about a few mintues later (8:40), my mom rushed into my room and shook me awake. in a blur, i managed to mutter "what!?". my mom was like "JIA YING! YOU GOT INTO 3G1! IS IT A THRIPLE SCIENCE CLASS? HOW COME YOU GET INTO 3G1?!" to tell the truth, i was quite shocked by the news. my dream came true man. like - OMG. well, 3g1 is the combinatino I class. triple science la, but then the humanities consists of only SS + GEOG. well, the name of the class doesnot matter, it only makes your class sound nice. does not determine whehter your class is strong or not.

and the stupid teacher. still haven tell me if i got into art or not. i am sure i will get into art. i got A1 for my at and i did so many sketches for the stupid teacher to see. i am sure i will get to take art. I WILL TAKE ART. I BET I WILL. IF I DON'T MY HEAD WILL DROP OFF AND ROLL INTO THE DRAIN. stupid teacher. i am so pissed. so irresposible, don tell us whether if i got into art or not. stupid stupid stupid. eh, art is very important to me ok, it determines my future baka teacher. URGH. I SO HATE HIM.

2008-11-10T05:55:00.001-08:00

i love kanda a lot lot lot.
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda
i love kanda

2008-11-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

one of the light bulb in the living room is going to fuse. its blinking - so irritatingly. but then, in the midst of thinking how irritating it is, i suddenly thought of miss ho teaching my class electricity and began to miss 2s2 again. :(

2008-11-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

well, i guess i shoul let things come to me naturally. i should not worry so much.

2008-10-31T04:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I do not know how to describe this. Lets just say that I am not prepared at all. I feel that I am not prepared to step into secondary three life, not prepared to grow older, not prepared to face this world. simply put it – I am not prepared for everything. to make matters worse, I just realised all these today when I am sitting all by myself and staring blankly at the clock.

When I am online today, I decided to search something about fashion designers. Most of the websites which I went did not catch my eye and thus, they were just being skimmed through. However, this title – “do you have what it takes to become a fashion designer?”, was too distinct not to attract my attention. As you know, my dream was to become a designer and I used to dream about having my own house, becoming the greatest fashion designer and making big money. That, I just realised, was one of my childish and girlish fantasies. As quoted from the website, “Do you have the passion and commitment it's going to take to work long hours at near poverty wages? Your commitment will be tested in the beginning as you work for next to nothing and struggle to make a name for yourself”. Needless to say, I was left staring at the tablet screen. With every passing minute, my dreams of becoming a fashion designer began to crumble.

Money-wise, I was quite shocked by what the area of fashion had to offer. But that does not make up most of the shock I felt. I am not daunted by the fact that I have to work long hours. I can absolutely handle that. I was scared about why I suddenly felt so shaken by those words. Aren’t I the kind of girl who is not afraid of anything? Aren’t I the bold and bad girl of the class of 2s2? Then why in the world I am afraid of those words? It was then I realised that in actual fact, I am nothing of the above. Outside, I was as hard as a rock but inside, I was soft. - like a coconut. I do not have the determination, the willingness and the passion. Like ,I mean, I kept on telling myself that I love fashion and I even have the flair for fashion but then, all these were instantly forgotten when I read the above quote. This means that I am not prepared for my “future” job. Most significantly, I am not at all prepared for what this economy world has to offer. Sigh, the power of words.

Also, when I was watching one of the shows – “Wizard of the Waverly place”, I also had the same sensation as I felt after I read the quote. There’s this girl called Alex who was admitted into this fashion design place. This man wanted new and fresh ideas. Alex gave him one and this means that it should be Alex’s idea. However, in the end, the man took Alex’s idea for his credit. In the end, Alex uses her wizard powers to overcome this problem.

I was left thinking – will I be as naïve as Alex? Will I get into this kind of situation? Will I trust people so easily? I was scared. Again, this shows that I am not prepared for the world. the evil, cunning and sly world. if I were caught in this situation, what would I do? for a moment, I let myself relish in the thought of using magic to make the man disappear and laugh to myself. What a silly idea. Like that is ever going to happen. In this cold, harsh reality world, I would have to deal with the man myself. But how? How to deal with that kind of person? Well, I learned that I probably should not have given my ideas to the man to easily – that at least calmed me for a minute. But alas, that could not last. I was still shaken by it.

When I read the newspaper, I read about how the editor criticized the movie “sing to the dawn”. I wonder if I could ever criticize like the editor. I wonder if I could spot the mistake and the flipside of the movie like how the editor did. I started to recall. Finding Nemo, I Am Legend, Anaconda 2, Garfield…… after I watched those movies, I thought they were great and after that, never went to think more about it, never went to think which part of the movie could be improved on. The today me, I realised, does not know anything that is happening in the world. she is still a childish and un-independent girl who could only fantasize.

Am I thinking too far into the future? No, I don’t think so. are those plethora of troubles i creatted myself? i don't think so. Is this the part and parcel of life? No, I don’t think so. Is this what all tennagers have to go through? no i don't think so. most of my friends seemed to be so happy and caught up in their lives. they do not seemed to have realised the internal struggle i am going through now. what;s more, they do not seem to have that kind of trouble. it seems that i am "so different"! HAHA. I am so scared and confused right now. I need someone, and ally probably to confide my problems. Parents and siblings were out of my mind. They would laugh at me if I were to tell them.

URGH. I need some helpful advice. It seems that I am oscillating between the world of reality and dreams. I need someone to pull me back to the real world. I cannot just keep on thinking about my weakness. I figured that I need to move on. But these feelings kept on bugging me… …

2008-10-30T05:42:00.000-07:00

i have decided that for the whole of next week, i am not going to play my gamboy. hey, this post is so random. well, like whatever, i am bored.

2008-10-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to take this opportunity now to think of kanda. i have not thought of him ever since like after the EOY and do not think that i would have enough time to think of him again next year. but that means that i do not love him. kanda is my first love ever since i went into secondary school. well, he is an anime character and most of my friends think that i should not waste my time thinking of an imaginary character and to look at real guys. but i don care man, there is nothing in the world that can change my mind. well, and anyway, i hate guys, except for kanda. he is real to me - even though he is not to my friends. but that does not change anythign right? its all about how i feel man.

oh! before i forget, i went to zaobao.com today and i saw this very touching article. here it is (tkae your time to read.)
*to elaine - if you ever see this, bring your chi dictionary and read this article.

Aunty，你慢慢来

(2007-11-18)
.郑维（联合早报网）

　　在我们全球第一的机场里，现代化的流光溢彩也掩盖不了世界各地商旅的匆匆行色和送别大厅里的离愁别绪。
　　为了省时间而喜欢坐午夜“红眼”航班的我，在快午夜的机场，想买杯热茶整理一下行程的头绪。
　　排在我前头买茶的，是一个身着机场工作人员制服的高大印度汉子，看来他和我一样需要熬夜，无非是我在飞机上，他在机场。
　　在柜台后面，一个老Aunty带着温和而又局促的笑容问候着顾客，并不十分合身的制服衬托出她干瘦单薄的身体，似乎她才来上班不久。
　　她用不是很自信的声音问：“Good evenning, Sir. What do you want huh?”
　　我想，Aunty的Singlish还不错啦，起码和异族同胞沟通没有问题。
　　印度汉子也微笑：“Aunty, one tea and an apple pie.”
　　看来一切顺利，Aunty听懂了，打进收银机收钱、找钱，就要喊"Next"的时候，印度汉子提醒 "Airport staff got 10% discount, Aunty."
　　这下按部就班用惯收银机做加减的Aunty的数学逻辑全部短路。
　　她的干枯手指慌张地在键盘上摸来摸去而不知道该按哪个按钮。然后她拿了一个计算器出来，按来按去，还是算不出个结果。
　　稍微等久一点，就已经有人不耐烦，我的后面传来一个不耐烦的声音:“Aunty, 快点哦！（福建话：紧哪！）”
　　一有人催，她抬头看到后面在排队的我们，满脸都是歉意，不断道歉。
　　那个印度汉子不着急，微笑着拿了计算器，算了应该再找回的钱，可是收银机已经关上了，Aunty慌忙去找领班。
　　领班是个二十多岁的小女生，一脸责怪的眼神，嘴里碎碎念着，看得出这可能不是Aunty第一次出现状况。她努力压低了自己的火气，不要在外人面前对自己的员工发火。
　　她先收我的钱，顺手从收银机拿出找那个印度大兄的银角，“啪”地放在台面上，对Aunty说声“喏”之后就转身走开。
　　印度汉子走了，老Aunty不安地看着我：“Sorry Sir, Keep you waiting huh. What do you want?“
　　我微笑：“不用紧，给我teh－o－kosong（茶，不加奶不加糖）。”
　　她很不好意思地自嘲；“人老了，头脑坏了，没用了。”
　　我告诉她：“Aunty，你慢慢来。”
　　捧着茶坐下，看着眼前熬夜的Aunty，一个踽踽独行的老清洁工推着清洁车慢慢地走过。
　　眼前看见的是我们这个热带小岛上的银发族，许多都为生活养老所迫，在白发苍苍时还要继续端盘送水、擦地洗碗，不能退休。
　　他们的体力、脑力、精力都已经临近枯干，跟不上年轻一代的脚步。当我们乘着飞机在世界各地寻求商业机会，追赶人生梦想的时候，他们留在新加坡，寻找愿意雇佣他们的地方，为了低廉的薪水熬完最后一分力气。
　　虽然有人说这是歹命，但政府说我们没有别的选择。毕竟我们都明白，在奉行“天下没用免费午餐”的新加坡，银发族继续受雇是他们得到养老财源的最好手段。
　　银发的他们走上岗位。可是，青壮的我们，是否在心理上接受了银发雇员的存在？
　　一同工作的年轻领班，是否愿意可能每天都要为了Aunty出的错而付出额外的时间精力去帮助她？
　　雇主是否愿意做一点小投资，为了他们在收银机上加上点华文的小说明？
　　当前面一个银发清洁工在我们面前缓慢地推车前行堵住我们的路时，我们是否可以不要用烦躁的语气说：“Uncle，闪(Siam)哦！“
　　飞速前进的我们是否愿意回过头来，微笑着对跟不上我们的速度的老人们说：“Aunty，uncle，不用紧，你们慢慢来”？

oh my god, this article made me realise a whole lot of things. it made me feel guilty... ... THANKS A LOT ARTICLE. -.-''

2008-10-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

the game hotel 626 is damn scary lorhs.
like,
yesterday, i decided to play by myself
then i freaked out at the second level and decided to wait for my brother to come home and play with me
so yeah, i had to beg him for so long before he decided to play
wait, i don't think i begged, i think i like, criticize and taunt his so called procalimed "manliness"
he went " come la, play then play la, i not scared, its only some stupid game"
when he said that, secretly, i was laughing to myself - "AHAHAHA"
as expected, he freaked out during the "sing me a lullaby" level
this is how it goes -
when the person entered the room, we heard this baby chuckling. i freaked out and covered my ears. my brother was trying to act cool and saying that i am a coward. then, the person walked deeper into the room. suddenly, the person turned his/her head down. my brother and i only caught a slight glimpse of a baby. you want to know why i did not see the whole baby? BECAUSE BEFORE I CAN SEE THE WHOLE THING, MY BROTHER SLAMMED THE WHOLE TABLET SCREEN DOWN. WHO'S THE SCARDY DAT NOW HUH? MUAHAHAHA.

haha, well, enough of that. i am preparing for my bintan trip - all by myself. so sad. i still have some more things i need to pack and buy. but my parents are not in singapore now. oh, wait, THEY ARE NOT IN SINGAPORE. AHAHAHA.

well, actually, i am sad becasue they left singapore. BUT i am not sad for their leaving, i am sad because of the reason they left. they left for malaysia to visit my grandmother who fainted twice in the toilet. well, as you know, my granparents live in kampung so the hospital there is damn shitty. to make matters worse, the government thing there is chaotic. its not like Singapore. well, i hope that my grandmother can get well soon. oh, my parents left in the middle of the night. i was sleeping so peacefully when my mother woke me up my pushing me rougly. she said some thing, but i cannot remmeber. like who can? i was sleeping and she suddenl woke me up. i was still in dream land man. well, whatever la, i just kept nodding my head, while apparently, i am still sleeping. haha.

because of that, i could not go chalet. actually, like, i haven ask them. i wanted to ask them like 3 days ago, but they left singapore. shit. well, i am so sorry ppl. i am so sorry. if i went, then i caould not go and buy lunch at my condo for my sis and the stupid maid. my brother would not be able to do so because he is out doing some project. I AM SO SORRY. but i will be going to bintan. don be sad ok classmates. i know most of you want me to go, some even tried to make me feel guilty about not going. but i am so sorry. i also cannot just slip out of the house, my siblings will "report dutifully" to my parents if i do so. so sorry.

BUT BUT BUT BUT! WE CAN STILL FIND SOME TIME TO STUDY TOGETHER NEXT YEAR. WE CAN STILL FIND TIME TO STUDY NEXT YEAR. I PROMISE I WILL FIND SOME TIME TO SMS TO YOU GUYS AND MEET UP TO STUDY TOGEHTER.

2008-10-23T22:04:00.001-07:00

i am doing my math december holiday assignment now and nothing gets into my head. is it because i miss 2s2 that much. i had to redo most of the questions again and again before i can get it right. i miss 2s2. well, this song is dedicated to my dear classmated and most of all, to 2s2 (exclucing my form teacher)
I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden
Maybe it’s intuition
Some things you just don’t question
Like in your eyes I see my future in an instant
And there it goes I think I’ve found my best friend
I know that it might sound
More than a little crazy
But I believe...
Chorus:
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only a sense of completion
And in your eyes,
I see the missing piecesI’m searching for,
I think I’ve found my way home
I know that it might sound
More than a little crazy
But I believeChorus
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I have found you

love you 2s2.

2008-10-23T04:06:00.000-07:00

MEMORIES......

2008-10-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

today is the last day of school. it is the day which i dread the most. i most certainly do not look forward to the school holidays. my mom will be bugging me to prepare for my sec three stuffs and preparing for my trip to Bintan. well whatever
many cried today, but i was suprised that i did not cry at all. actually, i am feeling very depressed, but then, i think that i had cried enough for my 4/20 class test, so yeah. i cried myself dry that time.but then, when i was all alone today, i cried to myself. pathetic? i dont care. i will miss my class. i will definitely miss them - my classmattes.

MESSAGE FOR 2S2 : GUYS, WE ALL KNOW THAT THIS DAY IS INEVITABLE AND IT WILL COME EVENTIUALLY. HOWEVER, DON'T BE SAD OK? EACH AND EVERYONE OF US WILL LIVE INSIDE OUR HEARTS. I WILL RMB YOU GUYS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

andrea - do not act so crazy ok? well my dearest class vice chair, you have been a great, but crazy friend to me for the past two years. continue simling!

annabella - your hair is so cute, especially the spot where the hair sticks out. ha-ha. oh, and enough facial piercing, its not good. haha. all the best.

joanne - believe in youeself girl. you can stop reading manga and take control of yourself man. must have the determination and i believe that you will suceed.

jolene - did i tell you that you are the smallest but the cutest little girl of 2s2? continue to be like that ok? i will never forget your little smile

cleo - whoa man. i am too shocked and baffled by your wisdom to say anything

elina - do not fret over the video where girls dance around your dong hae ok? i truly believe that you will someday, somehow meet your dong hae and get married. haha.

michelle - is it fated for us to always get the same results for math and science? ha-ha. work hard and you will get straight As. i believe in you.

emma - hi pinky girl. i know that you love pink a lot. anyways, congratulations for getting second in class. btw, you stole my second in class seat. i got 6 in class instead. haha, jkjk.

sharon - smile more my dear, do not give your serious face. its really scary!

sarah bennet - you are my beng you and my ex table mate. remember you said that your middle finger grows towards the sunlight? lol. and remember how u always remind to to study for my class test by writing in my diary. i will never forget all those. love you.

frances - talk more. laugh more. crazy more.

sarah swee - yo! the strongest girl in our class. you look like a cut teddy bear. please oh please take that as a compliment.

ethel - you are the sweetest girl in the world. rmb that.

joey - hey jo jo. mo jo jo jo. haha. you can do it and get good results. i believe in you.

chin yi - why must you extend you hair and cut it again? well, anyway, you look very japan like. haha.

lorraine lee - i miss your long hair. you are the one who used to thave the longest hair in our class. well, study hard and then play hard ok? you can do it.

si-an - i will definietly miss your mature way of talking and thinking and trying to get to to be a good girl. haha.

elaine - my table mate! i know that when you say that i suck, you mean that you love me a lot. i know you better than your parents know you. i will try to read more and al-gore more if you insist. oh, IMPROVE ON YOUR CHINESE YOU WOMAN. and i love kanda forever, there is nothing you can do to change that.

rachael yap - i prefer to call you yappy. sounds so cute. well, you will grow taller. do not worry. you just have not reach your growth spurt yet. eat more.

janice wong - HYENA! haha, your wild, crazy, newly improved, errie, witchy laughter will always be etched in my mind. rock on my dear janice.

le-yi - ok, stop saying "i love you" to everyone. no wait, i think you should. well, i think i would never get to say this again, but i want to tell you that i love you too. see you.

nadia - please go to the same class as me! i will pray with all my might. lets go same class together! oh, and be prepared to listen to my crap talk.

ya min - thank you for being the best class chariperson in the whole universe. even though you will be able to be the class shairperson of 2s2, but 2s2 will always be in you heart, like how kanda is in my heart. well, ya min, you seriously rock. i will miss you.

jin wei - we will still be able to se each other during CCAs, and i promise that from next year onwards, i will not pon CCAs unless necessary cos i don want to leave you all alone. haha. oh, i think that you and meritta are the perfect couple. hap en ai! haha. emo on.

christine - i am so proud of you, cos you have started to walk a bit faster already. well, you are chubby but not ugly ok? chubby people are cute. serioulsy. and don not influence me to giggle like you. rmb, i am a TOMBOY and tomnoys do not giggle.

meritta - well, meritta, i will miss your "preverted" ways of hitting me and christine's butt and stomach. you must try to talk more, and be like me ok? like wise, do not ever influence me with you whininess. but i will miss that too. take care my little whiny perverted girl!

aricia - it is really sweet of you to write to everyone in the class. janice even cried when she read your letter. well, yeah, time flies and we must forget somethings. but i will never forget your laughter and your er whats that, is it hugaga? haha.

rosemund - well, for the past years, you have been constantly getting 4th in class. this shows me that you are smart. yeah, imrpove yourself man and you can get 1st in class.

lorraine wong - you have grown a lot. trust me. you will soon reach 1.70 cm.

mei qi - hello the tallest girl in class. i will miss you. very much.

rachel goh - your crazy laughter crazy (isnt that, the same?) but it it still better than janice's. you are a physics pro. i will amways remember your physics ways.

celine - you are serioulsy out of your mind. but that does not make you wierd, it makes you special and unique in a very good way. i will miss you. oh, you got large and pretty eyes.

natalia - i will MISS DRAWING WITH YOU. sobs. you are very funny and i prmise i will not wreck your nail polish ever again . do not cry ok? just remember that i will miss you always.

gloria - glo glo. glow in the dark. haha. gloria, you are the pro in chopsticks. i will remember you. forever and ever

DQ - hey ya. i will keep the nail polish on my finger forever, unless my fingernail grow long and i cut it off. haha. i know that you like blue and green. you are cool. rock on on on on on on on on .

sindie - do not cry silly. everyone misses you too.

hilary - you are not stupid. just study hard and you can do it.

rebecca - your maple videos are so funny, sad, romantic and happy. i will miss your videos. i remmeber that time, you did a magic trick on me. i will never forget the coin magic trick. i will never forget it.

liping - my home ec partner and my dearest friend. you ah, so crappy, did the fake mucus thing on my water bottle. at first, you scared me like hell. whatever la you. anyways, i am so sorry to write to you here like the last. so sorry. hey, if you ever miss me, think about how we used to look into the oven when we finish baking in the home ec room ok? love you.

if i can rewind the time, i would want to get back to the first day when i stepped into Crescent Girls' school, i would want to remember and cherish once again the first time i talked to all my classmates, i would tell 2s2 that i love you.

如果时间能倒流，我一定会好好的去珍惜我和朋友之间的友谊，我一定会好好的队每一位朋友说我爱你们，我一定会好好地从新作朋友。

due to my overall 71.1% results, i think my mom will allow me to go out. well, but i still do not have to guts to ask her if i can go out with yue qi, qian hui and geok shan. firstly, i am not sure is she would allow me to go out, secondly, i might get to listen to her crap talk about studying and thirdly, i think i because i do not want to face the denial. to tell you the truth, i have not a bit of courage when asking my mother about things. to my mother, i am a coward. shit. whatever la, i am feeling sad now. sobs, will miss 2s2.

2008-10-16T04:54:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG
overall results
eng - 69
chinese - 64
mathematics - 76
science - 75
geography - 79
history - 63
literautre - 62
design and technology - 72
home economics - 76
visual arts - 75
I AM BAFFLED TO THE CORE. MY SA2 RESULTS ARE LIKE SHIT BUT THEN, I MANAGED TO GET THIS OVERALL RESULTS IS ALL THANKS TO MY SA1 RESULTS. MOST PEOPLE GOT THEIR OVERALL MARKS PULLED DOWN BECAUSE OF SA1. I GUESS THAT I AM THE DIRECT OPPOSITE. OH, THEY ALSO GOT PULLED DOWN BY ART, DESIGN AND TECHNOLOGY, HOME ECONOMICS, LITERATURE AND SOME EITHER GEOGRAPHY AND HISTORY. WELL, AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THAT THRIPLE SCIENCE WAS A GOODBYE FOR ME. BUT NOT, MY OVERALL AVERAGE IS 71.1%. LIKE I MENTIONED BEFORE, I AM BAFFLED. REALLY I AM.
I DO NOT KNOW IF I SHOULD BELIEVE IN THIS OR NOT. BUT THE DAY BEFORE I GOT BACK MY RESULT SLIPS, I LAY IN BED AND I PRAYED TO THE LORD BUDDHA. I TOLD HIM THAT IF I EVER EVER GOT THE AVERAGE ABOVE 70, TOOK ART AS A SUBJECT, GOT INTO THRIPLE SCIENCE AND TAKE THE LAST COMBINATION, I WOULD WORK VERY HARD AND GET ALL STRAIGHT As. WELL, I THINK I COULD GO INTO THRIPLE SCIENCE. SO, I WOULD KEEP MY PROMISE. I WILL WORK HARDER THAN BEFORE. NO MORE INTERNET EXCEPT FOR WEEKENDS. NO MORE TV EXCEPT IN WEEKEDNS.
OH, NOT TO MENTION, MY CLASS GOT THE HIGHEST IN THE LEVEL FOR MATHS AND THE SECOND HIGHEST IN THE LEVEL FOR SCIENCE. BRAVO 2S2. ALMOST HALF OF OUR CLASS IS ELIGIBLE FOR THRIPLE SCIENCE. I THINK THAT THIS MAKE US THE TOP IN THE WHOLE SEC 2 CLASSES. *SOBS, I AM GOING TO MISS 2S2.
WELL, I THINK THAT I NEED TO GO AND DO THE SELECTION THING NOW.
I WILL WORK HARDER THEN BEFORE. I WILL. I DEFINITELY WILL.

2008-10-13T03:29:00.000-07:00

well, exams have ended like five days ago. i think that these past five days pass in a blur. i cannot even remember, lest think about what i have done. i can only remmber that when i am sleeping, i would always, mysteriously and peculiarly wake up in the middle of the night and unable to go to sleep. also, i draw and i played gameboy. well, i think that the gameboy took up most of my time. whatever.

well, i am veyr nervous about my exma results. wierdest thing here is, i started to have dreams. there was once i dreamt that i was the last in literature exam. the next night, i dreamt that i am the first. ABSURD. well, i think that i am still not free from stress. first, i am stressed about studying everyday, now i am stressed about the release of the exam results.

you know, whenever the exam ended, i would leap up for joy and i would scream my heart out. i wuold think of doung this and that. but then, the next day, i would mooch around the house and try to find something, anything to entertain myself. basically, i AM BORED. when i am bored, i would think about my studying days and how much i miss them:

- i miss staying up late in the night to mug for my tests

- i miss typing in my tablet everyday for my geog

- i miss memorising the geography

- i miss trying to buck up on my science

- i miss looking at the good and bad results

- i miss re-doing all my math mistakes in assessment books and workbook

- i miss hiding from miss loo about the math homework that i never do

- i miss trying to fight with the class about the right way to bid farewell to our chinese teacher

- i miss thinking hard about what to write for chinese compo

- i miss the blankness in m mind when i am trying to write my english compo

- i miss trying to memorise the literature quotes

- i miss the tires and exhausting days

- i miss complaining to miss ho about everything

- i miss THE STUDYING DAYS

- (i miss kanda too. sobs)

well, i think that my boring days are over. i went to the library to borrow books. i borrowed three books - all from the horror anf thrill section. well, i like those scary stories. i hate those romance and mush y mushy type ew. oh, and needless to say, the romance section was crowded. well, i think that i would spent my whole day reading and reading and reading. bleah. but i have to bear with it. now, reading is my only source of entertainment. yuck.

oh, at least i had some fun today. i was waiting for my parent to pick me and my brother up fromt the library when i decided to do something fun while waiting for them.

WE WENT TO THE TOP FLOOR. WE WAITED FOR AGES BEFORE THE LIFT CAME. THE LIFT IS THOSE KIND, ER, LIKE THE BUBBLE THING, YOU CAN SEE THE OUTSIDE SCENERY. YEAH THOSE KIND. THEN, THE PRESSED ON THE FIRST FLOOR BUTTON AND THE LIFT WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN! IT WAS SO FUN COS IT DID NOT WENT DOWN SLOW, IT WENT DOWN F.A.S.T WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

LOOK AT THE STAR I FOUND ON ONE OF THE SEATSTHE LIBRARY. I TOO LAZY TO INVERT THE PICMY BRO. HE WAITING WITH ME FOR MY PARENTS TO COME PICK US UP :)THE LIBRARYONE OF THE POSTERS!

2008-10-07T06:34:00.000-07:00

TOMORROW IS THE LAST PAPER!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(i'm going mad)

2008-10-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

well, this friday is the day when the d gray man anime 1st series end (episode 103). i gues i will have to wait for sometime before the second series comes out. sigh, there will be no more kanda. i feel so sad man. BUT, i will wait for you kanda, i will wait for the day when i will see you again. i will wait. I WILL WAIT EVEN IF IT TAKES ME FOREVER.

2008-09-29T01:51:00.000-07:00

YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
i finished, well, not only me, but the whole sec 2 level pupils finished their literature and chinese paper 1 today! some of the burden is finally off my shoulders. i cannot describe the feelings in me when i managed to finally reutrn the horrible, wretched and rotten macbeth book back the library and to delete the lit folder in my tablet. AHAHAHAHAHA. i think i am going crazy.
well, anyway, i wasted almos 15 minutes trying to make a sense of myself during the literature exam. i looked at each of the questions first. then, i looked at the first question and the second on again, trying to decide which one to do. i feel like doing the first question, but the second question is okay too. im in a DILEMMA. well, i decided to turn my attention away from them and try to do the unseen prose. i gave up after reading the first few lines. this is when i started to panic. I AM WASTING MY PRECIOUS TIME! i went back to fret about the first and second question. FINALLY, i decided to do the first question. however, after writing th first paragraph, i gave up again. i cannot think of what to write. i tell you, i want to cry my ass out at that time. well, in th end, IN THE END, i started on the third question instead. well, i managed to survive the whole 2h 10 min, sitting on the chair, with the fan whirring over my head, the sound of mad scriblling and, AND silence...... oh, i am very proud of myself for using totally 14 pages, (7 pieces of paper) for all my lit essay! YEAH!

2008-09-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

whenever my class is having science lesson, i feel like crying man. its bcos all the electrical stuff - i just cannot understand them. then, i would fall into the bayss of despair and cry internally. at that time, i would see myself as the world's hopeless being in the whole world. i kept asking myself: " why do i need to read the questions again and again before i can fairly understand it? why can't i read it one time and know everything? why must it be do HARD for me?" well, i will never know. i just know that no matter how hard is tudied for this phycis, i just cannot understand it. and thus, during the science lesson, i started to keep quiet. i just cannot trust myself to speak more in class - for the fear of being disocvered that i know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. so, when my science teacher gave us a quiz today and when the whole calss was busy doing their work, she walked up to me and ask me what was the matter. well, to tell you the truht, i want to tell her that i hate physics with all my might and i never wanted to may my eyes on it again. i want to tell her that i failed her in science for the first time ever. however, i knew that if i said those, it would hurt my favourite science teacher;s heart. in the end, i forced a sheepish smile and said that everything was okay. well, i am still nervous about getting my science class test tomorrow. i am afriaid that i would cry over my marks. well, i am preparing myself for the inevitable fate now.

2008-09-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME MAN?!!
LIKE
I CANNOT EVEN UNDERSTAND ELECTRICITY!
THE VOLTAGE, THE SERIES, THE PARALLEL, THE R EFFECTIVE, THE POWER
EVEN WORSE
I DID NOT EVEN DO 3/4 OF THE SCIENCE CLASS TEST!
I AM SO GOING TO FAIL SCIENCE
FOR THE FIRST FREAKING TIME
WELL,
I DISLIKE PHYSICS
COS NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED
I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND IT
I DISLIKE DISLIKE DISKLIE DISLIKE DISLIKE DISLIKE PHYSICS.

2008-09-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

i realised that i am becoming lazier and lazier. the english end-of-year is just around the corner and i am not even preparing myself for it. i know that i am able to handle composition, but i am not sure if i am able to handle the situational writing. sigh. i am going to get a b4 or b3, like always. urgh.

today, well, i kept on thinking that a mac book, is macbeth. you know, the play macbeth? oh my god. i think i am feeling the stress. the stress is getting onto me. MACBETH? MAC BOOK? it makes no huge difference literally. anyways, there is somthing more important i want to talk about.

my whole calss had CWO today.

for those who think that CWO is stressful and horrible, i just want to tell you now:

"please get that notion off your mind."

CWO is fun. i think i get more bonded to the class. ha-ha.

well, it started out like this......

we were made to go to the mini forum to assemble at 2:30, but we decided to go there at 2. well, the teacher in charge is already there. we were issued out some thing, some thing which we can put over our shoulder (i dunno what tats called >.<).

at first, i got the blue one, then i was like: " oh my gosh, dark blue, its KANDA'S HAIR COLOUR......"

okay, so anyway, we were made to listen to the teachers talk and instruction before going to the parade square to do the "funnest" job - weeding.

well, it was not bad at first. I HAD FUN IMAGINING THAT THE WEEDS ARE THE PPL I HATE A LOT A LOT. joe was like, " pluck out the weeds, pluck out the 'somebody''s vein". haha.

well, i was okay under the blustering sun and the burnig ground. but the other were screaming and complaining.

i realise that weeds are the most and i mean THE MOST irritating thing on Earth. they are green and tiny. wait, that does not make sense. let me think...... AH! they are insingnificant and they have grow on this disgusting black soil. they have this very round minute leaves growing out from the side of it's stem anf thier roots are like, oh my god, thin and long. if you are unlucky, you would pull the whole weed out - the leaves and the roots. if you are even more unlucky, you would pull out a whole clump of balck soil, which clings onto the roots. sometimes, it SMEARS onto your finger. GROSS.

another thing. initailly, when you squat, your legs are able to support you. but after a few moment, you would have this peculiarly numb feeling on you knee. then, slowly, it would spread all over your thigh. well, i did not "feel" that process, i think i was busy plucking out those niusance weeds, but when i suddenly stood up to throw the whole hanful of dead weeds, I COULD FEEL NOTHING, IT WAS AS IF I WAS FLOATING. then afterwhich, i found myself unable to bend my knees straight. i cannot even walk properly. i had to WADDLE LIKE A DUCK. well, everyone experienced that too. not to mention, my dear janice needs ya min's support to help he to walk back to the mini forum. ._.''

oh, when i was plucking with joe, janice and ethel, i decided to secretly take some picutres of the whole "wonderful" scence.

well, this is a part of the whole scene. you know, many of us are clustered together. so it looks like there are little stars, except that they were students, scattered all around the parade square!did you see the ble stash? wait...... is it slash or stash? ha-ah. i am confused, but i only know that it is the colour of my belived boyfriend, kanda's hair. janice posing. but i only managed to get half of her body. opps. okay...... of them is the finger of joe, another is janice and the othe ris ethel. but i cannot differentiate which is which. >